Shellie Rushing Tomlinson
Hello to my favorite people around, the ATS porchers. That noise 'ya
hear is me ringing the recess bell. Drop what you're doing and climb
up on the porch with me, please. I've got a full emag for you. ~smile~
Before I forget, it seems you're missing something if you read "All
Things Southern" from your email box. I keep getting letters from folks
who used to join us that way before they "discovered" the site. Now,
they sound like the Old Camel commercial--they'd rather fight than switch
back. Personally, I think you'll enjoy the cyber porch more at the site,
too, plus you'll get to see the pictures. All you have to do is click on
the website link in the emag's header when I drop in. Okay? Okay!
So, how are things in your neck of the woods? I tell you what, it's
hard not to feel threatened in Louisiana these days. Have you been
watching the news? Between serial killers and killer mosquitoes, a girl
can't help but be a little antsy. I just wish I had stock in mosquito
dope and pepper spray. I've heard all about the market's problems, but I
still think these companies could be exceptions...
If you're like me, there's work waiting on your desk, so I'm going
to hush now and let you get on with this week's issue. I hope you have
half as much fun reading it as I did putting it together.
Hugs,
Shellie
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~~Chuckles~~
"The Census Taker"
A census taker was working in the hills of Kentucky. He walked up to
a small house where a woman was sitting on the step.
After introducing himself, the census taker said, "How many children
do you have, ma'am?"
The woman answered, "Fo'."
The census taker noted this on his form and then asked, "May I have
their names, please?"
The woman replied, "Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George."
"Thanks," said the confused census taker. "But, if you don't mind me
asking, "why'd you name your fourth child George?"
The lady looked at the census taker like he was slow-witted
before responding in a patient tone, "Because we didn't want no Mo."
~special thanks to Dude Halley for this week's chuckle.~
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~~A Taste of the South~~
"Lazy Dazy Mud Pie"
Oh, gosh, I made this one Sunday afternoon. It won't be on
anyone's diet plan but, if you should decide to stray, I highly
recommend it.
• 1 and 1/2 cups crumbled Oreo cookies
• 1/2 cup butter/melted
• 1 qt. vanilla ice cream
• Store bought fudge sauce
Combine cookie crumbs and butter. Press into a buttered 9-inch
pie plate. Fill with ice cream. Top with fudge sauce and freeze.
If you really want to be naughty, slice it and serve it with the
Hot Fudge Sauce below. ~smile~
"Hot Fudge Sauce"
• 5 (1 ounce) squares semi-sweet chocolate
• 1 and 3/4 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 (13 ounce) can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Melt chocolate over very low heat. Add sugar, butter and salt.
Bring to a boil. Add milk. Return to boil and remove from heat.
Cool; add vanilla and blend. Yum!
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~~Spotlight on the South~~
SPOTLIGHT ON COMEDIAN CHONDA PIERCE
I love to laugh, but I don't enjoy coarse comedians. Regrettably,
it's often hard to find one without the other. That's not the case
with Chonda Pierce. A native of South Carolina who cut her funny bone
on the comedy of Carol Burnette, this blond dynamo is a speaker,
comedian, author, singer, wife, and mother of two. She's also laugh
out loud, feel-good funny!
I heard one of Chonda's tapes for the first time a few weeks ago and I was
immediately enchanted by her distinctive southern drawl and entertaining
wit. Now, I'm checking out her traveling schedule to see when I can see
her in person. Ms. Pierce was barely into her routine before I recognized
the people, the places and the memories of her stories. I'm pretty sure
you'll know them, too!
Chonda grew up a "PK",(preacher's kid), in a dysfunctional family. (If
you're thinking there has got to be tons of material there, you're right!)
While there's nothing remotely funny about Chonda's past, this gusty lady
has been able to take personal tragedies that would've crippled many people
and use them instead to bring her audiences to tears of laughter. There's
been many speaking engagements, songs, and books since Chonda's darker days.
Through it all, from growing up sitting "second row, piano side", to
appearing center stage with Garth Brooks at the Grand Ole Opry, Chonda Pierce
has used the healing power of laughter to share God's message of hope.
"I'd like to say that God appeared to me and said, 'Go, ye, and be funny',"
Chonda says. "But it was more than that. I believe we should all aspire to
impact the world with what we do."
If you need a laugh--and who doesn't--do yourself a favor and get one of
Chonda's tapes, or better yet, catch her in person. Oh, and if you see me
there--wave! I'll be wearing my ATS shirt, so you can recognize me.
~Shellie
Click here to order: "On Her Soap Box, Audio CD"
Click here to order:"Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid, Audio CD"
Click here to order: "Second Row, Piano Side: A Chonda Pierce Book"
~Shellie
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~~It's Been Said...~~
"You've got to continue to grow, or you're just like last night's
cornbread--stale and dry."
----Loretta Lynn
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~~Southern Comfort~~
"What's Growing in Your Field?"
Let's play a game of pretend. Tomorrow morning you get up and eat
four Krispy Kreme doughnuts for breakfast. Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!
With each doughnut you can see a new roll added to the spare tire
around your middle. Whoa! You decide you had better start a new
exercise program, so you warm up, stretch, and proceed to walk two
miles pumping hand weights. Before you can even get back home your
shorts are a size too big, your leg muscles are toned and your biceps
are well defined. Hey, this is great! Let's take it up a notch.
Later that morning you run into Jane at the water cooler. She mentions
that Betty has on a new outfit and she looks great. since you never
really liked Betty, you casually mention that you heard Betty's register
has come up short quite a few times lately. Suddenly, Betty comes
running by both of you crying. It seems a rumor made its way back to the
boss that Betty was stealing from the company. Now, she's out of a job!
Oh, no--surely not from your remark--you barely got the words out of
your mouth.
Although most of us know the principle of sowing and reaping, the
growing season between the two often lulls us into forgetting that our
actions have consequences. We find it easier to believe we've run into
a streak of bad luck, or our metabolism is slow, or the enemy is attacking
us...than face the facts that we're reaping a harvest of long forgotten
seeds.
The Bible says we're always sowing, either to the spirit or to the flesh.
Wouldn't it be great to have a warning on our bag of seeds? Something
like: "Caution! These are painful words, once full grown they'll reap a
broken relationship!" Well, do I have good news for you! We do have such
a guide--it's called the Bible. Think of it as God's version of the
Farmer's Almanac, overflowing with advice on what you should and shouldn't
plant. Come on, let's get knee deep in the Word. I don't know about you,
but I'm determined to learn to control my impulses before I plant seeds
I have no desire to harvest.
~Shellie
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~~Southern Exchange~~
*Today's exchange has several photos in it. You'll want to enlarge your little
spotlight box, (click on the box in the top right corner), so you can see them
all! Thanks~Shellie
Your letters:
Hello Shellie and fellow porchers!
What a wonderful newsletter. Loved the article on the armadillo. And the
feline baptism. LOLOLOL! Keep up the good work.
Susi Taylor
Burton, Michigan
(Dear Susi, Thanks for writing! It's good to hear from Michigan, y'all have
been way too quiet. ~smile~ I'll try to keep those laughs a-coming. ~Hugs,
Shellie)
____________
Dear Shellie,
I was given your email and the addy to your site from my good friend Catherine.
(Yep, this is the friend she told you about, Elvis the Puppy's mom.) I've gone
to your site but didn't have much time to dip into it since I have to head out
and get the chores done here. I live on a farm, (dairy and poultry). We
currently have 75 head of cattle and raise broiler chickens for Gold N Plump,
(54000 every 6 1/2 weeks).
Even though I grew up as far north as you can get, (Minnesota), I've always been
amazed by the hospitality, (and the food....yum), in the south. If you're ever up
in our neck of the woods do stop on in for a taste of some northern hospitality.
Just thought I'd drop you a line from me and Elvis.
Love,
Char
Rice, Minnesota
PS: If your never got in trouble for making horse feed in your mom's big
mixing bowls you may be a girly-girl.
(Dear Char, Thanks for sending in Elvis' pic, he's a cutie and I LOVE the girly-
girl. BTW, I've got that sweet invite in my "porchers to visit one day" file.
Keep an eye out for me, I might surprise you. ~Hugs, Shellie)
_____________
Shellie,
I couldn't help but respond when I read Peggy Grubbs' comments about
growing up in the country and eating rabbit grass. As a non-Girly-Girl,
I joined my male cousins behind grandpa's barn several times to smoke
rabbit grass wrapped in pieces of brown paper bags brought from the
grocery store. I admit it tasted awful, but I certainly proved I wasn't
a sissy!
Vonda Skelton
Simpsonville, South Carolina
(Dear Vonda, I agree--you sound like a real bullrunner. Ya' know, I've never
smoked rabbit grass and I didn't think I'd even eaten it, until my big sis
Rhonda wrote me and jogged my memory. That's her letter below. I wish she'd
send in her pic so y'all could see her, she's so pretty. ~Hugs, Shellie)
______________
Hey Sis,
Do you remember the rabbit grass? Looked like 4-leaf clover but smaller
and was very salty and sour. Were we nuts or just very deprived little
people?
Nana (A.K.A. Rhonda)
Bedford, Texas
(Hey Nana! I had forgotten! Now, to answer your questions--yes to all, I
remember and we were. *giggle* Still coming to the Big D soon...I promise!
~Hugs forever, Keggie, A.K.A Shellie)
______________
Hello Shellie and porchers,
Kathy the Coon Mom of New York wanted to see more about armadillos? Here's
one of three youngsters who went clomping through my flower beds one day,
and bonking into the lanai screen. No one said they were the brightest
lights on the tree, but they are interesting. I wasn't too far from them
to take pictures and when they were suspicious of me they rose up on their
hind legs to check out my scent. Mom A. enlarges her den behind my fence
every year and piles the dirt higher each time. I think she aspires to
building the Great Wall of Florida. She nearly killed a Blue Sky vine
which I wouldn't have thought possible, by digging up the roots during
construction. I can say it has recovered and is once again taking over
the world. Armadillos happily dig up your yard, as other animals do up
north, seeking insects. The fact that you have de-bugged the yard slows
them not a bit. I spent one summer yelling at one big fellow, at night and
with the spotlight on him, and he couldn't have cared less. The neighbors
were quite tolerant of my behavior, I'm glad to say. At least I wasn't
banging on pans this time.
Duane Palmer
Florida
(Hey Duane, I love your story, I bet Kathy will, too. I'm glad your neighbors
haven't called the men with the straight jackets on you. Oh, I decided to drop
your picture in here as well, in case the porchers haven't been looking at the
porch album. ~Hugs, Shellie)
_______________
Hi Shellie,
Just a note to tell you how much we enjoy "All Thing Southern"! Being from
the South and a truly Southern Girl, I just have to tell you about my "crowd
from Kindergarten till the present". I think it is truly remarkable when nine
ladies take the time to keep up with each other from babyhood thru menopause.
We try to take a special excursion each year or every two years. This year we
took a marvelous adventure to south Louisiana. We were fortunate to come upon
a fabulous B and B just out of Slidell, LA. From there we were able to travel
some very quaint towns with wonderful little shops. We even took a Swamp Trip.
Mr. Wapo, the alligator didn't even try to climb in the boat, so we all came
back safe and sound.
One of the days, we ventured into the "Big Easy". Now you know New Orleans is
known for its epicurean delights of which we gladly partook. We have always
called ourselves the LP girls and that was just fine until we walked into a
very interesting shop in the Quarter. Sparkling like diamonds, on the counter,
were the most beautiful sunglasses. We knew that it was no accident that we
had been drawn to this magical store. We immediately purchased pairs for all
our group and away we went to Pat Obrien's where we spent a wonderful time
singing old songs of our era (the 60''s). That afternoon the LP gang became
"The Glitter Girls". We were the hit of the afternoon. I recommend these
reunions to every Southern Girl. This is a time to get away, to laugh, to
remember old times, appreciate good friendship,and just to relax.
Peggy Madden
Lake Providence, Louisiana
(Dear Peggy, I'm jealous--your girlfriend trip sounds wonderful. Should we
tell the other porchers that one of the Glitter Girls is my sister-in-law,
Sandy? She's in for a surprise to find her glittering self on the porch
today! Thanks for writing in and for letting me keep it a secret until it
got posted. ~Hugs, Shellie)
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~~A Southern Definition~~
"If you were never chosen ahead of a boy when teams were picked
during P.E. or recess...you could have been a girly girl."
--Shellie Rushing Tomlinson
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ATS NEWS and NOTES:
Just an update on the radio show. I'm working fast and furiously. The
official date for it's launch is September 3rd. Watch for details.
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WHAT SOUTHERN MOMS TELL THEIR DAUGHTERS...
About love and marriage: "It's just as easy to fall in love
with a rich man as it is a poor one!" Do you remember your
southern mom's advice about love,marriage, relationships and
life in general? Then join the fun; this project is exploding!
Write me at tomtom@allthingssouthern.com to have your mom's
advice memorialized in my new book: WHAT SOUTHERN MOMS TELL
THEIR DAUGHTERS...
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