This post is about twelve hours overdue. My bad. It appears a number of y’all want to know “the rest of the story”. That would be the one behind yesterday’s S.O.S message, my distress post that culminated in our sherrif’s office calling to check on my whereabouts because the sherrif’s office in one of our neighboring communites got word thru someone on Facebook, who got word from someone on Twitter, that I was stranded in the middle of the lake with a dead cell-phone. Let’s hear it for Social Media!

First, I’d like to send out a huge thank you for everyone who was worried and twittered/facebooked/emailed/called with offers to help. I would’ve responded on the spot, that spot being the back of my dead as a door nail SeaDoo, but my cell phone had followed suit shortly after my S.O.S. And I realize my “I’m home and alive” message was brief a couple hrs later, but really, I was tired and hungry and my knight in shining armor needed supper, too. I don’t know that the full story is actually that interesting, but since y’all have been asking. What it was, was…

After a long day writing, I had ran up to the grocery store for taco fixings, (favorite meal of the Hard-working Knight featured in our tale.) On the way back down the drive, I glanced over at my neighbor’s dock and saw my SeaDoo. (Our dock has been dismantled in advance of the new dock that is supposed to start whenever that sweet crew can get tied up from their current job. Mr. Van has been kind enough to let us tie up at his place.)

So, I think to myself, I do believe I’ll just unload these groceries and then take a nice DESTRESSING spin around the lake before I start cooking. Destressing being the key word and all in case you didn’t get that from the caps. It was delightful, too, at least for a while. I rode fast. I rode slow. I did 360’s, I drew patterns in the water with my wake. I even did me some singing to the Good Lord. Oh, and I docked at the Madness Czar’s house and called her on my cell to see if she wanted to come down and play. Couldn’t do it– headed out to eat with her man. So I headed back towards the house and I almost called it a day, but really, I was having so much fun. Onward!

And that’s how I found myself at the other end of the lake, somewhere close to alligator land when the SeaDoo beneath me went from wide open to nothing. Nothing. Not a thing. Nada. I wasn’t that concerned at first. I just lay back on the SeaDoo and watched the clouds. Surely it was overheated or something, right? I mean, I had just filled up with gas and the oil was fine. And it had just gotten out of the shop. Hmm….Self, I said, you didn’t leave a note at the house and no one knows you’re out here and Phil might be dark-thirty getting home. I sat back up and tried again. Nothing. I decided to pray. “Excuse me, Lord, but could you fire this thing up?” This isn’t an exact quote mind you, but I think He must’ve said something like, “Nah, I don’t think so. This’ll be good for you” Hey, I said it wasn’t a direct quote.

Fortunately, I had double bagged my cell phone and stored it in the on board tool-box in the front hull. Unfortunately, Beloved Hubby didn’t answer his phone, nor did Beloved Son, nor did Beloved Daughter-in-Law. I was about to try other Beloveds when the phone gave it’s “I’m dying” signal. YIKES!!! What to do?

And so, dear ones, being uneasy and all about drifting towards gator land, I decided to harness the power of social media. I twittered as fast as my little fingers would twitter, happy that it was snyced with Facebook, thinking to myself that this way I was calling a ton of folks for help at once, thus conserving the phone. I’m smart like that.

“S.O.S! Anyone with a boat on Lake Providence: I’m kinda sorta stranded in the middle of the lake and my cell phone is dying.” And then I turned off the phone to save battery. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. Where are the boats?????? Where are all the people???? No one to be found. Seriously. More waiting. And more waiting. Off and on I would turn the phone on and try to make a call. No signal. Are you kiddin’ me?

I thought about Dixe Belle. I had left my version of Lassie moaning on the end of the dock because I was supposed to be taking her for a walk instead of going out on the dock. Chances were she wasn’t going to appear swimming towards me with a rope in her mouth. Best try the phone again.

Some time later, I have no idea how long but it felt like three days, I got Phil and Phillip on the farm.  I went into overdrive trying to talk before the phone died again, assuring them that contrary to what they might immediately assume (what with my prior record with this sort of thing) I was not joking. Please come get me. And they did…

FYI, towards the end of my adventure, a boat full of Brown’s showed up. THANKS MARK AND CATHY. They kindly began towing me towards the other end of the lake to meet up with Phil and Phllip since I was OVER the joy of waiting.

The phone call from the sherrif’s department came soon after we made it home, as did the message from Madness who had been trying to get me ever since the first post, and being the imaginative, visual friend that she is was way ahead with her vivid imagination. I don’t know this for sure, but I do believe she was picking out songs for my funeral. Oh, we do have a flair for the drama, Red and I!

And now you know, the rest of the story.

Hugs,
Shellie