Shellie Rushing Tomlinson
Confession time: This week's emag is a little longer than
usual. I'm sorry, but with this being the last Christmas
issue, there was just so much I wanted to get in that I
doubled up on a couple of the features. I promise to
go back to the shorter issue next week. Believe it or not--
I culled a lot of my ideas! For instance, I'm not even going
to brag about how well my basketball teams are playing (have
I mentioned I coach girls' ball?). Nope, I'm not going to say
one word about their trophies, (or my son's 30-pt ballgame).
Instead, all I'm going to say about basketball is this week's
quote was submitted by Cassie Condrey, one of my varsity girls.
And now for a dose of humility. I pulled a real boner in last
week's emag. The "Divinity" recipe calls for THREE egg whites
and I typed THREE CUPS of egg whites. If she were alive my
grandmother would say, "Mercy, child!" Brenda Kay from
Arkansas was the first to alert me. I was hoping to print a
correction before someone tried it out, but alas, it didn't
work out that way. Please don't sue me or send me those burned
up mixers--remember it's real southernly to turn the other
cheek and besides, I'm truly sorry for any trouble.
I hope the "Chuckles" bring you a laugh; there's two of them.
I had a terrible time trying to decide which Christmas funny
to squeeze in. I'm crossing my fingers that you haven't seen them.
For weeks I've been trying to decide what I could give all of
you dear readers for Christmas to say "thank you for being a
part of All Things Southern". Well, it finally hit me! Please
find my gift to you at the end of the emag. It's the text of
my illustrated Christmas book. I know this isn't brilliant
marketing--giving away the book won't exactly help sales, (smile),
but it's Christmas, right? Reading this story is a family
tradition at my house on Christmas Eve; I hope you'll enjoy it
enough to make it a part of yours.
Finally, thanks to everyone who has written in to the Exchange.
It took a little while, but y'all have warmed up and gotten mighty
chatty! I'm loving it. But, please be patient if you haven't seen
your letter yet. I'm wading through....
Hugs,
Shellie
P.S. Here's the link again for those who've asked about helping
get my books in your local gift and bookstores.
http://www.allthingssouthern.com/help_market.html
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"Chuckles"
A CHRISTMAS STORY
Not long ago and far away, as Santa prepared for his annual
trip...chaos erupted. Four of his elves got sick, and the
trainee elves didn't produce the toys as fast as the regular
ones. Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind
schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit.
"Great!" thought Santa. When he went outside to harness the
reindeer he found three of them were about to give birth
and two had jumped the fence. More Stress! To top it off, when
he tried to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the
toy bag fell to the ground, scattering the toys.
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee.
In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot, breaking it into
hundreds of little pieces. And then, when he went to get the broom
he found mice had eaten the straw bristles.
Just then the doorbell rang. Santa stomped to the door and opened
it to find a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
"Hi, fat man," said the angel, "Where would you like to put this
tree?"
And that my friend is how the little angel came to be on top of
the Christmas tree.
~The End
*This just in:
"URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE NORTH POLE"
To: All Concerned
From: Santa Claus
Effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the
Southern portion of the United States on Christmas Eve. Due to
earth's current overwhelming population my contract has been
renegotiated.
Rest assured, southern children will be in good hands with your
local replacement--Bubba Claus--who happens to be my third cousin.
(Bubba's side of the family is from the South Pole.) My cousin
shares my goal of delivering toys to good boys and girls; however,
there are a few differences between us.
Please note:
1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that
reads:"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
2. Bubba Claus prefers RC colas and moonpies to milk and cookies
and he doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so
please have an empty spit can handy.
3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
instead of reindeer. I once made the mistake of loaning him a couple
of my reindeer; Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" from
Bubba Claus. Instead you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti,
on Elliott and Petty."
5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!"
6. And finally, Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd
make sure your wife and kids turn the other way when he bends over
to put presents under the tree.
Sincerely yours,
Santa Claus
Member of North American Fairies and Elves/Union 1225
~A big thanks to Billy Frank for contributing to this week's
"Chuckle".
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"A Taste of the South"
I like to make several recipes of these sausage balls and
freeze them. They're great to pop in the oven Christmas
morning for a warm and satisfying breakfast.~Shellie
SAUSAGE BALLS
•1 (10-oz) package Cheddar cheese
•1 lb. hot bulk sausage
•2 1/2 cup Bisquick
Shread cheese in large glass mixing bowl. Add hunks of sausage
into bowl and heat briefly in microwave--just until the mixture
warms, maybe thirty seconds. Return to counter and gradually
cut in bisquick, mixing well with your hands as if you're kneading
bread. (The heat from the microwave is a neat trick to help
mix the ingredients.) Form into small balls; place on cookie
sheet. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 15 minutes. May be
frozen before baking.
12 MINUTE MICROWAVE PRALINES (Prahhh-leens)
•2 c. sugar
•1 stick margarine
•1 c. pecan halves
•1 c. chopped pecans ( delicious shelled pecans are available
at the All Things Southern Store. http://www.allthingssouthern.com )
•1 tsp. vanilla
•1 (5 oz.)can Pet milk
In a deep dish melt butter on high for 1 minute. Add all
ingredients. Stir well. Cook on high for 6 minutes. Take out,
stir and put back in microwave for 6-7 minutes on high. Stir
briskly until hardening, then spoon onto foil. Will harden in
about 1 minute.
~ Special thanks to Jeanne Leblanc for the "prahh--leens"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Spotlight on the South"
SPOTLIGHT ON CHRISTMAS TOWN U.S.A.
In 1980, Charles Kuralt gave nationwide television coverage to
McAdenville, North Carolina, placing it on the map as "Christmas
Town U.S.A.". But this little town had been the celebrating
the holiday in high fashion for years.
The McAdenville Men's Club first used lights to decorate nine
trees around the McAdenville Community Center in 1956. Reaction
was so favorable the number of trees has now increased until now
more than 450,000 red, green and white bulbs adorn some 400 trees,
giving off a warm holiday glow to the town and surrounding area.
One of the favorite spots for viewers is the lake, encircled with
75 trees and sporting a fountain in it's center jetting water as
high as 75 feet into the air. Overlooking the lake is a large
display of Santa and his reindeer. The display is nine feet tall
and 75 feet long. Another tourist favorite is the life-size nativity
in the middle of the tour.
This year, 2001, marks the 46th anniversary of the light
pageantry and tradition. Millions of people have toured this light
fantasy during its 45 years of existence. Last year, more than
300,000 vehicles passed through the little town.
Of course, the lights are best viewed in person, but if you can't get
away, click here for your virtual tour:
http://users.vnet.net/srankin/
~Shellie
*************************************************************
"It's Been Said..."
"Whenever I'm asked why Southern writers particularly have a
penchant for writing about freaks, I say it is because we are
still able to recognize one."
--Flannery O'Connor
**************************************************************
Still Christmas shopping? Let the All Things Southern Store
ship our great food and gift items to your loved ones. Surf on
over--looking is FREE. ~smile~
While you're there, be sure and check out my illustrated holiday
gift book, "'Twas the Night before the Very First Christmas".
You'll find it at http://www.allthingssouthern.com/books.html ,
along with my memoir "Lessons Learned on Bull Run Road".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Southern Comfort"
Sweet baby Jesus, Mary held you tight--
your tiny hands clutching her fingers,
your baby scent caressing her senses as she
breathed in the wonder of her first born son.
The promise of an angel asleep in her arms.
What did she know? What did she feel?
Run with this precious gift? Disrupt the plan
formed before ever the world was? And then grace
came, that marvelous grace and her throbbing heart eased.
Little boy Jesus, Mary watched you run and play.
She kissed your scratches. Did she know?
Didn't it hurt to even consider the thoughts stirring
inside her? What lay ahead for a child born of
a virgin? And then grace came, that marvelous grace and her
throbbing heart eased.
Young man Jesus, they called you names, lunatic,
crazy, Son of Joseph who claims to be deity.
What did your Mother's heart feel, Mary?
How many times did his arms surround you before
grace would come, that marvelous grace and your
throbbing heart would ease?
Sacrificed lamb, Savior Jesus, Mary beheld you on
the cross. You were the Son of God, paying a bill
in full. Didn't her break to let go of your humanity?
For you were also born of woman, Son of Man.
And then grace came, that marvelous grace and her
throbbing heart eased.
Risen Jesus, Resurrection Life, Mary watched
you ascend in the clouds.
Sweet Mary, waiting there in Jerusalem,
watching with the others,
longing for your firstborn son.
And then, just as the Father promised,
Grace came to stay.
(John 16:5-7: But now I go my way to him that sent me;
and none of you ask me, where are you going? But because
I have said these things, sorrow hath filled your heart.
...It is necessary that I go away; for if I go not away
the Comforter will not come to you, but if I depart, I
will send him unto you.)
~Shellie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Southern Exchange"
Hi Shellie,
I had to laugh when I read last week's issue. We southern ladies
really DO decorate ourselves for the holidays and sometimes we
ARE wired for lights; or, at least, I used to be... We've
had such a hot season this year--I tried wearing a holiday sweat
shirt the other day and that's exactly what I did...SWEAT!!
One year my husband gave me some huge, dangling, red plastic,
triangle-shaped earrings to wear to work at the hospital Christmas
Eve. They came with batteries and two or three LED lights each
and blinked back and forth. I thought they were awful but I wore
them anyway because my husband thought they were pretty...LOL !!
I've never received more attention than I did that night! Back
then I worked in labor and delivery, and I was certainly in the
holiday spirit with those babies popping out left and right
while my earrings dangled and flashed--slapping me in the face
and anyone else who got near!
I never wore the earrings again; the batteries made them
very heavy and they did my ears no service at all. But it sure
was one Christmas I won't forget!
Merry Christmas,
Evanda
Lynn Haven, Florida
Check out Evanda's Holiday House:
http://www.angelfire.com/home/sallinger/holidayhouse/
~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Shellie,
When my mother's dad was small his family lived way, way out in
the country. Back then the kids didn't have fancy stockings
to hang by the chimney. Instead, they hung the biggest clean sock
they could find because whatever they got in their stockings on
Christmas morning was it! As the story goes, there was an empty
house down the road from where my grandfather lived so he figured
Santa wouldn't know the difference if he hung a stocking by that
fireplace, too. That way he'd get twice the goodies.But,
unbeknownst to him, my great-grandfather saw him slip down to the
empty house to hang his second stocking.
Well, on Christmas morning my grandfather cleaned out his first
stocking and took the first chance he got to sneak off to the
old house down the road, chuckling to himself that he'd got one
over on Old Santa. Imagine his disappointment when he emptied out
the stocking only to find it filled with what we in the South call
dried "mule biscuits"!!!
Just wanted to share that with you. Hope you and yours have a
very Merry Christmas.
God Bless You,
Deborah
Coker, Alabama
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WHAT SOUTHERN MOMS TELL THEIR DAUGHTERS...
About hygiene: "Always wear clean underclothes, you never know
when you're going to be in an accident!" Do you remember your
southern mom's advice about love,marriage, relationships and
life in general? Then join the fun; this project is exploding!
Write me at tomtom@allthingssouthern.com to have your mom's advice
memorialized in my new book: WHAT SOUTHERN MOMS TELL THEIR
DAUGHTERS...
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Please forward ALL THINGS SOUTHERN to your friends and family!
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http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com/
A place to be yourself as a mom, woman and lady. Once a month
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Merry Christmas to the Community of All Things Southern:
" 'Twas the Night before the Very First Christmas"
'Twas the night before
the very first Christmas
and all through the universe,
not an angel was singing
not even one verse.
The stars were hung
in the sky all aglow,
in hopes of that soon to be
great stellar show.
Some shepherds sat watching
their flocks late that eve,
snuggled deep in their robes
since the day took its leave.
And God seated high
in the heavens above,
was planning a gift
from His infinite love.
When way up in the sky
a great star came to shine,
and the shepherds fell back
from the wondrous sign.
For there in the heavens
came the angels to sing,
of the birth of the Christ Child
the prophesied King.
With the great star to guide
the shepherds took flight,
to find the small child
on this holiest of nights.
Above a stable
the star came to rest,
and the shepherds bowed low
and offered their best.
For there in the manger
with hay for a bed,
Immanuel lay sleeping
as the angel had said.
Their wonder grew as His guests
came to see,
three wise men worshipping also
on bended knee.
Gifts they had lain
at the infant's feet,
frankincense, myrrh
and perfume so sweet.
Joseph, the father,
and Mary his mate,
beheld it all marveling
at their chosen fate.
His mouth so tiny
was drawn up like a bow,
and his skin was as soft
as new fallen snow.
His message for men
the angels did say,
was peace on earth
and glory to stay.
As the animals looked on
and the world stood still,
God smiled at this scene
and spread His good will.
"To all men below-
Behold the Light!
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night."
~The End
May the love of the Christ Child abound in your home this
Christmas. Merry Christmas from my house to yours,
Love,
Phil, Shellie, Jessica and Phillip
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